


now i don't remember comfort

by justanonlinelove



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanonlinelove/pseuds/justanonlinelove
Summary: title from dysphoric by cavetown because i wasn't sad but now i am
Kudos: 4





	now i don't remember comfort

i can't fucking focus

idk why would i write sentences about my week in french when i could just

not

i'm buzzing to leave but the only interesting place i can go to is like the woods behind the elementary school

and there's nothing interesting there

idk maybe i'm just overly caffeinated 

i can't stop writing

because if i do that i'll think about the things i don't want to think about so instead i just write and don't stop to think

processing and focusing on my own feelings? i could never

i can't even name them at this point i just,,, avoid

i desperately need to dye my hair

or cut it

i need change so i feel like anyone but myself

i am too much of me right now and that is an issue 

too many thoughts

apparently i'm not manic so that's cool

manic pixie dream girl - olivia gatwood

that one's cool

i want to go back to school because this is all driving me mad

i want to write letters and seal them and send them in the mail, but i have nobody to send them to

that's kind of unfortunate 

i hate online school

sometimes i feel very small in this world

i mean, proportionally to the universe, i am practically nothing

i just want to help people?? maybe?? i try but i'm never any good

i am very frustrated that there are colors shrimp can see that we can't

and we can't even imagine them because they just don't exist to us

that's insane 

what would this room look like to a mantis shrimp

i have no idea and it drives me mad

you can probably tell that quarantine has not been my favorite thing

i'm still trying not to think about jax but it's getting to me

and then it's just a knot of sad things

the thoughts i am trying to avoid

the ones of being unwanted and unloveable and unworthy

the being second choice to everyone thoughts

go away go away go away

fuck

i'll be fine i really will i just hate this

rocket ships

breathe breathe breathe breathe

i feel like falling apart but i can't do that in front of anyone so nobody needs to know

wow this got depressing

i should probably shut up lmao


End file.
